He gave me a quizzical look I still remember—a kind of sympathetic bewilderment in which he was trying not to make me feel bad while he digested the depths of my ignorance.
The United States certainly was not home to him and nothing looked “normal” anywhere he turned. He missed his family, friends, neighborhood, church and the familiarity of people who spoke his adopted language and who were not consumed with consuming.
Shopping confused him and required inordinate amounts of time simply to sort from among the many choices. How many choices in toothpaste do we need, anyway?
Each year the International Mission Board works with a state Woman’s Missionary Union to sponsor a special “re-entry” retreat for missionary kids coming back to the States to begin their college careers. This is a very valuable ministry because re-entering American culture is not an automatically smooth event. WMU-NC provided a great service by hosting the event.
Doris Walters, a former missionary to China, established a counseling career after her return to the U.S. and has helped many missionary kids as adults. Her 2007 book, “The Untold Story,” is filled with stories of how the problems unique to missionary kids arise later in life.
One example is of a young, successful man who came to Walters feeling he needed to leave his wife and child. He was restless and needed a change.
Walters helped him realize he was subconsciously reverting to the four-year cycle of change peculiar to the missionary life, shuttling between the field of service and furlough back in the States.
Many deal with issues of separation, abandonment, isolation. They feel like foreigners in the nation of their parents’ birth. They look like Americans and speak English, but don’t know the current slang. Their lives are often like watching a movie where the sound track is slightly out of synch with the video.
This is especially true for MKs who were born overseas or who were very young when they moved with their parents to the mission field. MK David Snell in “The Untold Story” said 70 percent of the MKs he knows are having adjustment problems upon their return to the States.
To help WMU-NC fund their MK retreat, send your gift, marked “MK Retreat” to PO Box 18309, Raleigh, NC 27619.